Saturday, May 1, 2010

I Hope That Guy with the Minutemen Shirt Notices my Black Flag Hat


By Brian Polk

Holy shit. Is that guy over there wearing a Minutemen shirt? I think he is. Yep, totally. It’s the cover of Buzz or Howl Under the Influence of Heat — my third favorite Minutemen album after Double Nickels and Punch Line. I bet we’d have a lot to talk about if we ever met. For example, what’s his favorite Minutemen song? I could only single it down to a top-five, maybe. And even then, it’s so hard to choose. I wonder what he thinks of fIREHOSE. Personally, I never liked them as much as Minutemen, but then again, how could anyone? I guess that’s not true; I have met a few people who like fIREHOSE better for some strange reason. I’d also like to know what that guy thinks about Mike Watt playing bass in the Stooges. Did he even bother buying The Weirdness, and if he did what did he think of it?

There are just so many opinions we could go on and on about, and I’m really not sure how to approach him. Maybe he’ll see my Black Flag hat and realize I’m in the punk club. Yeah, that’s it. I always tell people my Black Flag hat is an actual flag that I raise for all the punks to see. I’ve had people come up to me in several different cities and states and ask me, “Who’s your favorite Black Flag singer?” The really cool punks always say Dez Cadena or Keith Morris. I always say Henry Rollins because my favorite albums are My War and Slip It In, though I also really like The Process of Weeding Out, which of course is the instrumental EP.

I wonder which Black Flag singer that guy likes best? He looks like he wouldn’t have a hard time admitting that Rollins was an apt front man for the band, even if he wasn’t technically as good as some of their past singers.

Where did that guy even go anyway? I saw him heading into the produce section a second ago, but he’s not here now. Oh wait. There he is in the condiment isle. Damn it, he’s standing with his back to me. Should I clear my throat to get him to notice? Maybe I should start singing a Minutemen song. “Little man with a gun in his hand…” No, that’s kind of a weird thing to do in a grocery store.

Oh wait, he’s turning around. I better act like I’m going about my business.

“Cool shirt, man,” I say to him as he walks past.

“Thanks,” he says. “I like your hat.”

“Thanks,” I say.

We both stand around awkwardly for a few moments.

“Well… see ya,” I say with a wave of my hand.

He nods and walks away.

Damn, that was awesome.

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