Saturday, January 14, 2012

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Plants and Animals and Chomp!

By Brian Polk
Interview responses by Josh LaBure
The members of Denver’s Plants & Animals have their work cut out for them. As a vegan advocacy group a thousand or so miles from the nearest coast (where plant-based diets seem to thrive), it’s not exactly a piece of—dairy-free—cake convincing meat eaters to give up the flesh. But just as there are liberals in Utah, there are vegans in Denver—no matter how out-of-place they may feel at times. As such, they might as well do what comes naturally to any advocacy group: organize and, well, advocate. That’s the impetuous behind the group’s most successful endeavor, Chomp, a monthly, community-based vegan dinner that’s open to anyone who might be curious about the animal-free diet they’ve been hearing about. Of course, the group also organizes benefits, actions, and other cruelty-free events, all of which Plants & Animals member Josh LaBure spoke with us about.

Things I’d Rather be Doing than Making this List

By Brian Polk

  • Attending a conference on phasing out the use of the word “ha-larious” by 2013
  • I would say, “DJing with a laptop,” but it’s really just playing my iTunes in a bar
  • Becoming more obese
  • Attending a conference on phasing out the phrase, “Not so much,” by 2014
  • Wondering if the ghost of Bob Marley bemoans the fact that people don’t like him due to the lameness of his posthumous followers
  • Rocking in the free world, something I occasionally forget to keep on doing
  • Working on being more ashamed of my sexual organs
  • Coming up with an answer to this question: What’s less awkward, walking in on my roommate while he’s test running his new adult DVD or accepting his invitation to join him? Either way, I think it would lead directly to the next one:
  • Praising the manufacturers of lube for all the tension they ease
  • Wondering if the ghost of Jesus bemoans the fact that people don’t like him due to the lameness of his posthumous followers
  • Admiring my dog for his inability to regret
  • Going to the after-party in the afterlife, if either exists
  • Hand-numbering all my records so that I can tell people I have hand-numbered editions of all my records
  • Explaining to my dog that if I were an Ayn Rand disciple, I’d have to stop feeding him because free meals go against the principles of the free market
  • Vacuuming the shit-hole I’ve allowed my living room to become
  • Using “thou” in a sentence that also doesn’t contain the words “holier” and “than”
  • Getting in on the impending Jazzercise comeback
  • Making a bumper sticker that says, “Thou shall honketh if thou shall feel hornieth” (Did it!)
  • Not so secretly becoming embittered by the fact that my unemployed friends take more vacations that me
  • Transcending life and then transcending death
  • Growing increasingly annoyed at what turned out to be my ill-advised, unfunny decision to play an Alvin and the Chipmunk record at 78 RPMs
  • Finding my virginity while listening to the song “Losing my Religion”
  • Coming up with a list of things I'd rather not be doing than making this list