tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79719460946117740902024-03-04T22:17:13.702-08:00The Yellow RakeThe Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.comBlogger125125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-54418203833615045782022-08-04T13:16:00.002-07:002022-08-04T13:16:54.868-07:00Owner's Manual Prepares Man For The Wild Ride Of Fan Ownership<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieZ05HST1nXq7rhilCFKmkkGEf57icep2BmJEgRi7c6iqT2HQhZFCj3tNyOB6C1EO4CMtTzipCYHQ6NaTDtW4LQwXgPLwJwpSOL6AVe6S4nmf-aSFKK3W6J6zHwXYrNzcGFcYSgHfPNfaq6G48ZcvFGb2epFiA3RVIhAEVOqv8lzSFF6N0tceG8lQp4Q/s4032/IMG_4127.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieZ05HST1nXq7rhilCFKmkkGEf57icep2BmJEgRi7c6iqT2HQhZFCj3tNyOB6C1EO4CMtTzipCYHQ6NaTDtW4LQwXgPLwJwpSOL6AVe6S4nmf-aSFKK3W6J6zHwXYrNzcGFcYSgHfPNfaq6G48ZcvFGb2epFiA3RVIhAEVOqv8lzSFF6N0tceG8lQp4Q/s320/IMG_4127.HEIC" width="240" /></a></div><p><br /></p>HOT AS FUCK APARTMENT <span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">— The ten page manual that accompanied the purchase of a small fan thoroughly prepared new-fan owner Rocky McCann for the wild, </span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.666666984558105px; white-space: pre-wrap;">adventurous ride that owning such a cooling device entails, sources confirmed Tuesday. "Thank god the fan came with a manual," said McCann as he proudly held the document above his head like a modern-day Moses on Mount Sinai. "I mean, I would have been totally fucking lost if I had to figure out all the different speeds and how to plug it in on my own. I owe the fine folks at Polar-Aire a huge debt of gratitude." Before turning out the lights for the night, his fan whizzing gloriously in the background of his darkened bedroom, McCann looked forward to sleeping soundly with the knowledge that the manual was also printed in six different languages, all but guaranteeing that folks from all over the world would be guided with ease through the twists and turns of fan maintenance </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">— including what to do in case of fire, how to prevent electrical shock, and where to file the paperwork for the limited three-month warranty. </span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.666666984558105px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></p>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-40657611487092340442022-03-17T14:31:00.005-07:002022-03-17T14:40:57.617-07:00Walmart Employee Healthcare Plan Now Just Single GoFundMe Page<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgFFgg85L6QerwOKPYAltoo8x56pcMPQwf3FN-9FhK1tM-HC-Z2NPDKlU2BKd_kN6i_nA_50cN87HgYAB2W9e4mpIR9xbKm58FOWhZvMTneVraSFNBrjibeEVjrF-hbTsJXjQDzsWVWetchuDXILpBgNdR8uVUTjKbNhhGyAnZ_95hesusG15BRxoG9yA=s1280" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="962" data-original-width="1280" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgFFgg85L6QerwOKPYAltoo8x56pcMPQwf3FN-9FhK1tM-HC-Z2NPDKlU2BKd_kN6i_nA_50cN87HgYAB2W9e4mpIR9xbKm58FOWhZvMTneVraSFNBrjibeEVjrF-hbTsJXjQDzsWVWetchuDXILpBgNdR8uVUTjKbNhhGyAnZ_95hesusG15BRxoG9yA=s320" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">BENTONVILLE, AR — The new Walmart employee healthcare package offered to full time employees </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">will now just be a single GoFundMe page, according to a Monday press release from the corporation. </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">“Beginning January 1, 2022, associates will no longer have to pay premiums, deductibles, or fees for </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">access to their health care,” the press release states. “Now when an associate requires medical </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">coverage (from an approved list of ailments), they can contact their H.R. representative, who will add</span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">their name to a list on our permanent GoFundMe page!” Public health officials expect the move to have </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">a ripple effect throughout the entire healthcare industry, while many workers remain wary of the perceived </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">cutbacks. “It’ll be nice to have more money in my take-home pay, but I also suspect they’re doing it to help </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">out their bottom line,” said Clive Howell-Douglass, a 67 year old Natchez, Mississippi-area Walmart food </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and grocery associate. “But I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of that go-funding website. I just hope it’s not </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">as bad as Obamacare.” While the release offers no explanation of the company’s decision to drop all </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">of its insurance options for employees, it does tout the “freedom of our associates to receive up to 100%</span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">funding for most ailments, surgeries, and injuries — especially during periods when </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">[GoFundMe members] are feeling particularly generous.” Perhaps inspired by move, JCPenny </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-67297b6e-7fff-2aa0-aaab-ed78945fc9c9" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">announced a Kickstarter “to hopefully make it to fucking Memorial Day.” </span></p>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-42974152300302728642022-03-17T14:29:00.004-07:002022-03-17T14:45:28.976-07:00Toxic Little Man Has Caused 18 Workers To Quit Jobs Since Start Of Pandemic<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhLmd3LOGKkx25RaKKEiOgOh9fmaH2NAvEC9644JTjdjXaBWGtyGoLUGXG_endHDjTjZbORIOFhm7IOlPucDtdTscpj4w9dG2e6IdB0RfxEVmiTXBkQtEwrVfnRTVCIIhPpQLvgVslgspnkMPjB3dxUNRtrV69NBLS1DPRJC1z4VbN5v3YtGv3klVaC_A=s1280" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="854" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhLmd3LOGKkx25RaKKEiOgOh9fmaH2NAvEC9644JTjdjXaBWGtyGoLUGXG_endHDjTjZbORIOFhm7IOlPucDtdTscpj4w9dG2e6IdB0RfxEVmiTXBkQtEwrVfnRTVCIIhPpQLvgVslgspnkMPjB3dxUNRtrV69NBLS1DPRJC1z4VbN5v3YtGv3klVaC_A=s320" width="214" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span></span></span></p><a name='more'></a><p></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">EVANS, GA — The willfully abusive behavior of Augusta-area claims adjuster and toxic little man, Jerry </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Wilkes, has been directly responsible for causing the resignations of a full 18 essential and non-essential </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">workers since the pandemic began, sources confirmed last Friday. “Look, the lib-tards and Hollywood Elite </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">can take their ‘plandemic’ and shove it up their asses, as far as I’m concerned,” said a wide-eyed Wilkes, </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">who along with a trail of job resignations is also solely at fault for breaking up at least five of his friends’ </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and families’ marriages, along with three of his own. “If some pissant who’s making $10 an hour at the </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Publix thinks she can get me to wear a mask, you better believe I’m going to yell at her, her manager, </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and the security guard until at least one of ‘em cries.” Since COVID began making headlines in early </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">2020, the self-proclaimed “pro-freedom warrior” has let every paid employee he encounters know that </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">he refuses to self-isolate, social distance, wear a mask, or tip more than 5%, if he tips at all. And while </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Wikes takes pride in the results of his actions, others feel he shouldn’t get too much credit. “Oh yeah, </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">that angry little guy with the camo hat and all the Confederate Flag bumper stickers on his truck is a </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">huge jerk for sure,” said former Grovetown Ace cashier Sheila Wolverton, who left her job shortly after </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Wilkes visited the store and coughed in her face in late August of this year. “But I mean, I didn’t quit </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">because of him alone. We had to deal with way bigger jerks, like that guy who spit in our GM’s ear </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">canal for telling him to stay behind the plastic divider.” At press time, Wilkes announced his plans to </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">visit the Waffle House and lecture the server, busboy, and whoever else happens to be in shouting </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">distance about the connection between 5G and vaccine mandates — after which he will leave a 57 </span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-95af0784-7fff-7ecf-9760-c3fd51435f73" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">cent tip. </span></p>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-84737767876887805652022-03-17T14:26:00.003-07:002022-03-17T14:41:17.384-07:00Book Review: Bullshit Jobs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgG17tMVrTT-LIP9v_DeJTajGJRanKpvJFuFW9UAWvXXyI4hSl3JToFt_9rw33_h0bKAC_vtz3154VcV-y7IXV-jFS6HpTUqdyr2z-KLT2nMMXuw9ZqpvScvfsOkfDIq6bAS4fiJBgGx1KXywA6Tba-_2z0UzZzUcIlZQgDuhhq0N_O_091qjRlAsRmRQ=s600" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="394" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgG17tMVrTT-LIP9v_DeJTajGJRanKpvJFuFW9UAWvXXyI4hSl3JToFt_9rw33_h0bKAC_vtz3154VcV-y7IXV-jFS6HpTUqdyr2z-KLT2nMMXuw9ZqpvScvfsOkfDIq6bAS4fiJBgGx1KXywA6Tba-_2z0UzZzUcIlZQgDuhhq0N_O_091qjRlAsRmRQ=s320" width="210" /></a></div><br /><span><a name='more'></a></span><p><br /></p><p dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-24d19d43-7fff-061f-f378-6eb4aed1a63b" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Bullshit Jobs: A Theory</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">David Graeber</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Adapted to a full-length book from his original essay “<a href="https://www.strike.coop/bullshit-jobs/">On the Phenomenon of Bullshit Jobs: A Work Rant</a>,” </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Bullshit Jobs: A Theory</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> seeks to understand why we’re not all working 15 hours a week when technological</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">advances have rendered many traditional forms of labor irrelevant. The answer: we’ve created entire </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">industries that are totally bullshit. From health administrators navigating needlessly complicated insurance </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">bureaucracies to ballooning H.R. departments, entire industries have been created in order to give the </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">middle management class something to do for 40-60 hours a week. And how do you know your job is </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">bullshit? If everyone in your professional position went on strike, would anyone notice? If you answered, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">“no,” well then, you may very well have a bullshit job. In the book, Graeber mentions how striking subway </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">workers and teachers cause a lot of harm when they strike. And that’s because they perform duties that </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">are actually necessary to society — which is why the right and other reactionary forces so often criticize </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">these workers. If, say, every single corporate lawyer went on strike, no one would even notice — hell, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">we may even be better off. Same for telemarketers and middle managers in just about any field. Their </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">jobs do not help people, period. David Graeber expounds upon this at length, along with other related </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">topics, such as the inhumanity of the welfare state, and how a universal basic income could benefit the </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">entirety of society. As an anthropologist and co-founder of the Occupy movement, Graeber offers a </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">perspective on the system of work that is sorely missing in the discourse of American politics. </span></p>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-64694426989030905622022-03-17T14:23:00.007-07:002022-03-17T14:41:25.138-07:00Review: Flying Raccoon Suit<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhDnxPOmMJYY-RAgo9Q_a52uaV25hFzboO36SxENeCvSdIaSNpoHC7IbDq4q_WWvPKLDgh15yjfQe_va12iBKJHlWWJzJOkvB3TedqMtrBlgFteYZaQlssTZvm7GHkYAJiUvxtvowSwz1IBiDBGY2hzzOJjQsHHQ3V0Y-q6cIE0VVyDnAX-qKE7uY1WEQ=s600" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhDnxPOmMJYY-RAgo9Q_a52uaV25hFzboO36SxENeCvSdIaSNpoHC7IbDq4q_WWvPKLDgh15yjfQe_va12iBKJHlWWJzJOkvB3TedqMtrBlgFteYZaQlssTZvm7GHkYAJiUvxtvowSwz1IBiDBGY2hzzOJjQsHHQ3V0Y-q6cIE0VVyDnAX-qKE7uY1WEQ=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><span></span></p><a name='more'></a><p></p><p dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-cf72195f-7fff-692d-08e1-a7805234c397" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Flying Raccoon Suit</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Afterglow</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">With a fusion of ska, jazz, a dash of hardcore, and “rock with horns” (kind of like Rocket From The Crypt </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">in theory if not style), </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Afterglow</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> features a collection of songs that could provide the soundtrack to a </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">modern version of </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Cabaret</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">. The compositions feel like they’re arranged and not just written, which gives </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the songs layers of instrumentation that — along with the album’s production — provide a rich, compelling </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">texture. I’m sure the reason I enjoy this collection of songs so much is the fact that it vaguely reminds </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">me of World/Inferno Friendship Society — though I would definitely hesitate to recommend it to diehard </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">fans out of fear that they’d expect it to be some kind of carbon copy. As of this writing, I think I’ve listened </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">to the entire album maybe four times and the first two songs, “Afterglow” and “Hive Mind,” about 20 </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">times. That’s how I like to absorb new records. </span></p>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-92071472704641540202022-03-17T14:18:00.004-07:002022-03-17T14:41:31.615-07:00Review: Jeff Rosenstock<p> </p><p dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-b2b364bd-7fff-cd7f-711b-6288e2701236" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiccZKzkfa-PI18ZsnoRpfe4x6PIAjU8Wup3m74VdIUKhS_CrJaUdQMFvP4hzZgZPbDduryUhWGlNVrjnnr9rJ7ACyyQXLuSuCt83T-1iqll1n1Zh_799YLUuXQP-j7pk3ZQA8-ZD6blIJbi5dRHfI4lZL4sVsIgRiva0EZO4zZ9adn9VeOl7CNb0eDzg=s225" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="225" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiccZKzkfa-PI18ZsnoRpfe4x6PIAjU8Wup3m74VdIUKhS_CrJaUdQMFvP4hzZgZPbDduryUhWGlNVrjnnr9rJ7ACyyQXLuSuCt83T-1iqll1n1Zh_799YLUuXQP-j7pk3ZQA8-ZD6blIJbi5dRHfI4lZL4sVsIgRiva0EZO4zZ9adn9VeOl7CNb0eDzg" width="225" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-b2b364bd-7fff-cd7f-711b-6288e2701236" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span></span></span></p><a name='more'></a><p></p><p dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-b2b364bd-7fff-cd7f-711b-6288e2701236" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-b2b364bd-7fff-cd7f-711b-6288e2701236" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Jeff Rosenstock</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Ska Dream</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Over the pandemic, I read a book called </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">In Defense Of Ska</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">. Throughout the book’s text, author Aaron </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Carnes introduced me to several bands that I had never heard of, like The Untouchables, We Are The </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Union, and Jeff Rosenstock. Sure, I went through a ska phase in my teen years — attending shows and </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">listening to records from bands like Skankin’ Pickle, Suicide Machines, and The Rudiments. But by the </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">time the late ‘90s hit and bands like Reel Big Fish and Mighty Mighty Bosstones were everywhere, I lost </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">interest (not that I have anything against those bands or the tail end of third wave ska in general). That’s </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">when I really started getting into two-tone and Jamaican ska. Anyway, after reading Carnes’ book, I started </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">listening to bands like The Toasters (who I had never given much of a chance in the ‘90s) and Jeff </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Rosenstock’s solo work and previous bands (like Arrogant Sons Of Bitches and Bomb The Music Industry).</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">It just so happened that Jeff Rosenstock released this ska-punk record about a month before I finished the </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">book. Apparently, he and his band mates were looking for a novel way to promote his 2020 record </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">No </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Dream</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> — since they couldn’t tour — and came up with the idea of live streaming a ska rendition of </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">each song of the record. Since they soon deemed this idea unreasonable (how would they get </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">everyone together for rehearsal and to perform the show with the lockdown still intact?), they opted </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">instead to readapt and record each of </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">No Dream’s </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">tracks as ska songs. The result is one of the best </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">punk-ska records ever released. Tracks like “Ohio Porkpie,” “***SKA,” and “The Rudie Of Breathing,” </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">will follow me to the grave as songs that I will always look forward to putting on my record player due </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">to the fact that they just make me feel better. “The Rudie…” in particular contains a couple of lines that </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">hit so hard whenever I hear them: “</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I'm tired of knowing what about myself is wrong / But never </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">mustering up the resolve to really try to change it.” And after delving into similar subject material, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Rosenstock concludes with, “And that’s … that’s why I’m so fucking sad.” While the original track of </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the song on </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">No Dream</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> features a mid-tempo arrangement with distorted guitars that more closely </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">matches the sullen lyrics, the ska version offers a happier, almost jovial background with which the </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">listener can relate to these themes of depression, jadedness, and hopelessness. And that’s probably </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">why I enjoy this record so much. Much like Rosenstock, I also dwell on issues of mental health and </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">dejection, but I also enjoy not feeling like shit all the time, which is where the ska comes in. When I tell </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">a lot of my friends that I’ve been listening to a lot of ska lately, I feel like I’m coming out of some weird </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">musical closet. But they tend to understand (or at least, they stop pitying me) when I say, “Sometimes </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I just want to not feel fucking terrible for being alive, and that happens when I listen to ska.” Anyway, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Ska Dream</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> was my favorite record that came out last year. </span></p>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-73322618698839845242022-03-17T14:15:00.005-07:002022-03-17T14:41:37.551-07:00Review: George Cessna<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEipjpTFwcAGTrCY8GvjTx_gI_3RXumeDefNa0GhYm6eb9Z3QI7-1R5skLvsF-ZsgizSymWju1aaIp9Eko5BKABwXi1CIBXIWL8BByYLn1amdTAX5HkTFX8k2lINGguE3u7jGV_rjOeIuF4rNwJghJHwqupae1SPc4eWvzGGi9F-NG4dyMT8v88gZV6BrQ=s225" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="225" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEipjpTFwcAGTrCY8GvjTx_gI_3RXumeDefNa0GhYm6eb9Z3QI7-1R5skLvsF-ZsgizSymWju1aaIp9Eko5BKABwXi1CIBXIWL8BByYLn1amdTAX5HkTFX8k2lINGguE3u7jGV_rjOeIuF4rNwJghJHwqupae1SPc4eWvzGGi9F-NG4dyMT8v88gZV6BrQ" width="225" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-7f2d3c64-7fff-cc24-02c4-521749a297f9" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">George Cessna</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Lucky Rider</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Recorded in the basement of the hi-dive over the lockdown, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Lucky Rider</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> is a stunning mix of country </span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and western, rock, and even a bit of early surf music (as evident in the Ventures-esque, reverby guitar </span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">leads throughout the record). The song, “Keep It Rolling” is reminiscent of the Roy Orbison and Kid </span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Congo influences that seem to permeate the younger Cessna’s career. “Morning Song” is a fine </span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">example of what makes the record so endearing — George’s voice is piercing, but comforting. In fact, </span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">this collection of songs feels like a warm hug after hitting rock bottom. Considering it was recorded when</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the world was falling apart, it makes sense that he and his collaborator, Brian Buck, would write songs </span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">they desperately needed to hear. And so </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Lucky Rider</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> is an album that pretty much all of us desperately </span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">need to hear. It’s a feel-good record for people who have a hard time feeling good. I’m eagerly awaiting </span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the vinyl so I can listen to it over and over so it gets some nice pops and crackles, which always add to </span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">that feeling of comfort and familiarity. One of the best local records released this year. </span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></p>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-19079376516746858042022-03-17T14:13:00.004-07:002022-03-17T14:47:16.503-07:00Woman Who Loves Music Podcasts Hates Actual Music<div style="text-align: left;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-6515dedf-7fff-8b87-3153-fd5482e041d1" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiYCt4nBM9UVTX5U5ApbY34C-SPY1FAZbPCmlCDCbVNdhnKMeDvNW6Tl73LUf1DM2iGGF6411mx7lwrcxI5UgJp_nBvAas2S6W-Scyk8NX2Xx8dzIGiGwC7cdZjZOrBJH_q2k46seBIJGSl5xVAL4renrMj2QPBeNbBS9IyBgMMRMtPPTekW_I4CVSDaA=s1280" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiYCt4nBM9UVTX5U5ApbY34C-SPY1FAZbPCmlCDCbVNdhnKMeDvNW6Tl73LUf1DM2iGGF6411mx7lwrcxI5UgJp_nBvAas2S6W-Scyk8NX2Xx8dzIGiGwC7cdZjZOrBJH_q2k46seBIJGSl5xVAL4renrMj2QPBeNbBS9IyBgMMRMtPPTekW_I4CVSDaA=s320" width="320" /></a></div></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-6515dedf-7fff-8b87-3153-fd5482e041d1" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span><a name='more'></a></span><span id="docs-internal-guid-6515dedf-7fff-8b87-3153-fd5482e041d1" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-6515dedf-7fff-8b87-3153-fd5482e041d1" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-6515dedf-7fff-8b87-3153-fd5482e041d1" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">HER HOUSE — Aging music aficionado and podcast enthusiast Brooke Froude told reporters </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-6515dedf-7fff-8b87-3153-fd5482e041d1" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Wednesday that while she listens daily to podcasts about music, she hasn’t had much of a drive in </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-6515dedf-7fff-8b87-3153-fd5482e041d1" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">several months to play any of the songs being discussed on her favorite shows. “I’m so glad season </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-6515dedf-7fff-8b87-3153-fd5482e041d1" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">two of </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">No Dogs In Space</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> came out — especially since they did Velvet Underground,” said Froude, </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">who hasn’t heard a song from Velvet Underground — her favorite band since discovering them on </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Doors</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> soundtrack in 1991 — in three years. “And I also really enjoyed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Vanishing of Harry Pace</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">, </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">which is really the story of Black Swan Records,” continued Froude. “It introduced me to so many </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Black Swan Records’ artists who I had never heard before [and who I will never actually listen to].” </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Froude — who has over 500 records that will never see a turntable again, 30 biographies about artists</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">whose creative output she has lost interest in, and walls adorned with concert ephemera that she will </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">not add to since she hasn’t set foot in a live music venue in years — is currently taking suggestions for </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">new music-related podcasts, just as long as they’re spoken-word-based. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></div>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-32345552347197801412021-11-17T11:46:00.001-08:002022-03-17T14:50:37.730-07:00Man Finally Has Confidence To Stop Pretending To Wash Hands After Using Public Restrooms<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxiBuX8Rrg0-PDRUtCBZuxsdeBtn1WUX7z0lzQsLDdG8AHScT28i5n02jF4CPVoah4lYYF5fMGkQDnHDPkCWd9apJYt_xacqmoYMlV6NAm38baJYJuqaQytmqv-3R1ae0ftUEgzmnhUErZ/s500/Confident.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxiBuX8Rrg0-PDRUtCBZuxsdeBtn1WUX7z0lzQsLDdG8AHScT28i5n02jF4CPVoah4lYYF5fMGkQDnHDPkCWd9apJYt_xacqmoYMlV6NAm38baJYJuqaQytmqv-3R1ae0ftUEgzmnhUErZ/s320/Confident.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>ON A ROCK NEAR A SUNSET — A man, who is currently being ostentatiously self-assured on a rock near a sunset so he can put the photographic evidence of it on his Instagram, finally has the confidence to stop pretending to wash his hands after using public restrooms. "Hitherto this day, I used to run the water and rub my hands as though they were being washed, and then I would get myself some paper towels — even though there was nothing to dry," says Clarence Park, who never actually washes his post-bathroom-going hands when he's at home or otherwise in private. "But now that I'm more content with my place in the universe, I don't give a damn if people see me not washing my hands. In fact, after I'm done with my business, I check myself in the mirror, say something in my head, like, 'There's that badass,' and then go about my day." And although Park looks forward to a bright future of not succumbing to the judgmental eyes of hand washers, he's still not brave enough to share this information with the rest of his friends or family. <br /><p></p>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-67245572101395380922021-11-17T11:27:00.000-08:002022-03-17T14:41:55.337-07:00Kourtney Kardashian And Travis Barker Announce Plans For Highly Publicized, Embarrassingly Messy 17-Month Marriage<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcsZrDj17h0YLSQ1a7NtmPRtopbur8zU3zVVZJDRSGS5hkEpavfX8U72ir9Ytt2uvXLi8sRSSSRO5U_FXoZ9YUy6yG5jVw8nj4pT57Yjn9M-E66sGH95umGiP3FmKnNnqj7MEeFp19vBsk/s1371/Kourtney.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1006" data-original-width="1371" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcsZrDj17h0YLSQ1a7NtmPRtopbur8zU3zVVZJDRSGS5hkEpavfX8U72ir9Ytt2uvXLi8sRSSSRO5U_FXoZ9YUy6yG5jVw8nj4pT57Yjn9M-E66sGH95umGiP3FmKnNnqj7MEeFp19vBsk/s320/Kourtney.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-70629782414445146602020-01-29T17:48:00.000-08:002020-01-29T17:48:31.832-08:00Stub Chronicles: Sublime<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBV7OiTQePrbFvPVUpI_msa2Nj9MKVax_LYxrltZV6avSAn0gEvVXpSTPgWJCeb9PBZCFG_7vZ9TJBhqb_Orp7JMLzrauA-MqEe6Udr1BzyLua-s9ktHrJxY9ORWCYd-uY1EcYB_KpdosA/s1600/Sub+Stub.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="850" data-original-width="1600" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBV7OiTQePrbFvPVUpI_msa2Nj9MKVax_LYxrltZV6avSAn0gEvVXpSTPgWJCeb9PBZCFG_7vZ9TJBhqb_Orp7JMLzrauA-MqEe6Udr1BzyLua-s9ktHrJxY9ORWCYd-uY1EcYB_KpdosA/s320/Sub+Stub.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I never saw Sublime that night. In fact, I left about a half hour before they played. So why do I have the ticket stub for a band a never saw? Well, I did go to the show, but at the time I couldn’t drive. And since I lived in a suburb about 30 miles southeast of Denver, I had to catch a ride with my parents, who happened to be attending a holiday party in Golden. They offered to wait until 9:30 before picking me up, but I knew I was going to need more time than that. So I got them to agree to 10:30 p.m., which was probably as late as they had stayed out for at least a decade. <br /><br />Anyway, we got to the Ogden at 8:30, and my parents were shocked to see the demographic that waits outside of shows. They were just punks with leather jackets, mohawks, and chains, but my folks hadn’t seen anything like that in the suburbs, and they really didn’t want to drop us off. I assured them that I had been to a couple of these shows before, and they really had nothing to worry about. And besides, we had already bought the tickets. Very reluctantly, they let us out of the van, and in we went.<br /><br />Skankin’ Pickle played first. I had never seen a ska band before, and they brought an intensity and energy to the stage that I had not hitherto experienced. I’m not the kind of person that harbors any kind of macho anti-ska bullshit (in fact I wrote an <a href="http://www.yellowrake.com/2019/08/making-fun-of-ska-only-time-inactive.html" target="_blank">article about it</a>), so I had a lot of fun. Plus I got to see Mike Park say, “I have the flu right now, so if I puke and someone eats it, you’ll get a free t-shirt.” I didn’t know how to process that. <br /><br />Guttermouth played second. As lousy as that band has aged, I can say that their singer took punk nihilism to new and explosive levels. He was all over the stage and in the crowd. He let people spit on him. He talked shit about rich fucks in Aspen who wore fur coats to their ankles. Prior to punk rock, all of my heroes were hair metal bands like Ozzy Osbourne and Motley Crue. As much as I can’t stand Guttermouth now, I will say they were way fucking cooler than any hair metal group — at least to the 15 year old version of me.<br /><br />Towards the end of their set, I had to meet my parents in front of the venue. Like I said, I never saw the headliner, which in retrospect is fine. I mean, it would have been cool to say I saw the original Sublime, but I can’t fucking stand that band. They made punk and reggae palatable to mall-going white suburbanites who had no business listening to either genre. And when they weren’t playing covers, they were stealing riffs. But I digress. <br /><br />About six months later, I turned 16 and got my own license, which instantly and immeasurably improved my life. After that, I never missed another headliner — unless of course we were just there for the opener, which happened occasionally. </span><div>
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The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-66930277245954495752020-01-17T15:25:00.002-08:002020-01-17T16:09:17.808-08:00Stub Chronicles: Propagandhi<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAE990jKT9zpSanhFxQh7Cdq-dq4bEt5oMBU3Y6SyyEQJZTFZia-BElGjksE6K4szz67I252sEvuyy0YtLufW9t3iKBzutORElJ1Hh2En_ulp8Hra3fON-byNDehhT5hc2591XdDEWktuF/s1600/Prop+Stub.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1108" data-original-width="1600" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAE990jKT9zpSanhFxQh7Cdq-dq4bEt5oMBU3Y6SyyEQJZTFZia-BElGjksE6K4szz67I252sEvuyy0YtLufW9t3iKBzutORElJ1Hh2En_ulp8Hra3fON-byNDehhT5hc2591XdDEWktuF/s320/Prop+Stub.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>Propagandhi at the VFW</b><br />
<b>May 18, 1996</b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It’s hard to overstate how excited I was to see this show. I ended up with the band’s first CD, <i>How To Clean Everything</i>, in the summer of ‘94 and committed every word to memory. I made sure to dub a copy on cassette for my friends, so they could all sing along with me. That was the cool thing about getting into punk: it was like a secret club. If we didn’t all trade tapes, we never would have heard new bands, because no one was playing anything like it on the radio. So when one of our skate buddies came across something cool, they got to play tastemaker for the entire crew. It was a lot of fun to be that excited about music. <br /><br />In ‘96, Propagandhi were touring in support of the recently released <i>Less Talk More Rock</i>, which I had ordered through the mail, but hadn’t yet received. Apparently I couldn’t score a ride to Wax Trax, since I was 15 at the time, so I had to resort to slower methods of obtaining music. <br /><br />Anyway, this show famously devolved into a full-on riot and Propagandhi didn’t play (which has been documented elsewhere). But we did get there in time to see Nododys, Four, and two songs of Crestfallen. It was my first real exposure to the local scene that I would become a part of in a couple years. (And of course, the riot part was pretty fascinating. Watching someone throw a huge rock into the back window of a cop car blew my 15 year old mind. I hadn’t witnessed anything like that before.)<br /><br />I pulled an article from the <i>Rocky Mountain News</i> from a library database summarizing the events of the night, which I’ve included below. My memory of the evening doesn’t exactly line up with that summation. A couple of key differences:<br /><br />1) The article blames concertgoers for starting the melee, and fine, we played a part for sure. But police didn’t help things with the way they handled the situation. They tried to physically force people to leave the venue immediately after shutting down the show without considering the logistics of getting 300 kids down a narrow stairway at the same time. <br /><br />2) The newspaper also left out the part about how there was no air conditioning in the venue, and it was 90+ degrees up there. I found out later (from someone who knew the promoter) that that was the reason the owners denied entrance to everyone who was trying to get in — even if they had tickets. I suppose they figured there would be a lawsuit if someone passed out, and so they tried to limit the number of entrants. This was a massive failure on the part of the venue.<br /><br />3) Although I don't agree (of course), I understand the press for not wanting to blame veterans and cops when they could blame a bunch of youngsters with funny haircuts who weren’t good at sports.<br /><br />4) And that’s the other thing. If we were college football fans rioting because the team won, we wouldn’t have been so vilified. But whatever. <br /><br />5) Not that it has anything to do with this, but my band The Gravity Index opened up for Propagandhi on September 9, 2001 at the Ogden in Denver. That was the first time I saw them live. <br /><br />The article:<br /><br /><b>PUNK MUSIC CONCERT ERUPTS INTO BOTTLE-TOSSING MELEE</b><br /><br />May 19, 1996 | Rocky Mountain News (Denver, CO)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />Concertgoers at a west Denver veterans hall Saturday started a melee on West Colfax Avenue when they began throwing chairs and bottles at police officers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A punk music concert featuring five bands was filled to capacity with 300 people at the Veterans of Foreign Wars Lowry Post #501 hall at 4747 W. Colfax Ave. when several people upset that the show was shut down began fighting just before 9 p.m., a concert-goer said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">An off-duty officer working at the concert called for help and dozens of police officers from three Denver police districts responded to help usher large groups of youngsters away from the hall.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Several teen-agers began throwing chairs and bottles at officers. One officer was hit in the head with a chair, and two others were injured and treated at the scene, said Margaret Chavez, a police spokeswoman.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">More than 100 youths outside also got upset and tried to start rioting, she said. Officers sprayed Mace into some large crowds and arrested several juveniles, police said.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some teens were upset with their treatment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“In the middle of one set, a bunch of cops came in and one came on the stage and said, ‘This is shut down. There's a riot outside,’” said Ann Poe, who was in the audience.</span><br />
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The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-36908753506164765972020-01-14T11:56:00.001-08:002020-01-15T17:43:59.773-08:00Dispensary Worker Fired For Passing Drug Test<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOLyWIYYrLJNmBu_eyJRmquvysybqLRCHTdzvnYslQXIJ5RV-793_rTFA1mJ4SGspYC2WWME9Ju5bwXxEFwcoDmQSjADZVoQcbnCkfXuhxM3ajdKpnJDN9hEBUgxzIwzhfNfwzI2nt8Exn/s1600/image003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOLyWIYYrLJNmBu_eyJRmquvysybqLRCHTdzvnYslQXIJ5RV-793_rTFA1mJ4SGspYC2WWME9Ju5bwXxEFwcoDmQSjADZVoQcbnCkfXuhxM3ajdKpnJDN9hEBUgxzIwzhfNfwzI2nt8Exn/s320/image003.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-16f1d94f-7fff-d946-4b99-1e1a9310b1c5"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">BOULDER, CO — Terry Bates, the newest employee at the Boulder cannabis dispensary, Higher Plains, was fired after only two weeks on the job for passing an employee-mandated drug test, the owners of the pot shop reported Thursday. “Terry was great with the staff and everyone here really liked her,” said George Albom, the dispensary’s owner. “But if she thinks she can work here and not be stoned all the time like her fellow coworkers, then this really isn’t the place for her. We have a brand to think about and our ‘For cannabis connoisseurs by cannabis connoisseurs’ slogan is essentially meaningless if we have someone who’s clear-headed and not high all the time.” While Albom can understand not wanting to sample the product while dealing with customers and counting change, he’s uncomfortable associating with someone who never gets stoned. “I mean, fine, if she wanted to get sober during her shift, that’s one thing, but the fact that she didn’t even get high on her own time is totally unacceptable. But you know, that’s why we give drug tests — to weed out people like that.” After her firing, Bates went and applied at the brewery down the street, even though she can’t tell the difference between a Belgium IPA and an East Coast IPA. </span></span>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-49863225597617276522020-01-14T09:42:00.000-08:002020-01-14T09:42:29.315-08:00Kids Can’t Figure Out How Mom Got To Be More Misogynistic Than Dad<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtrbZArOh9rl0UNS4n17Z3LtKEwZ-DSLaHAve-3WdxQ-5A5K0NQuADMvUsevuGaifDLC4cFOUCg1t46rJ46iaRAEPqMRdDcTwJF3LIz4j87_ysjqlgXtmx8s9Kf1pCc0D3YZCOZcZ1PJ-8/s1600/image004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtrbZArOh9rl0UNS4n17Z3LtKEwZ-DSLaHAve-3WdxQ-5A5K0NQuADMvUsevuGaifDLC4cFOUCg1t46rJ46iaRAEPqMRdDcTwJF3LIz4j87_ysjqlgXtmx8s9Kf1pCc0D3YZCOZcZ1PJ-8/s320/image004.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<a name='more'></a><span id="docs-internal-guid-efa42286-7fff-9889-d721-d97d920c4c9e"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">FRESNO, CA — During a routine phone call between siblings Kyle and Carrie Cummings Tuesday evening, neither could figure out how the hell their mother Emma had gotten more misogynistic than their father Dennis — a man who by all measures has always been a raving male chauvinist all his life. “Dad has always had a condescending attitude towards women,” said Carrie, who has spent a lot of time and money on therapy to get to the bottom of her deep seated distrust of women, and by extension, herself. “But the other day, I was talking to mom, and she mentioned how Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was a great example of how women make bad leaders. And I was like, ‘But aren’t </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">you</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> a woman?’ I mean, what kind of self-hating bullshit is that?” Kyle agreed with his sister’s sentiment, recounting a similar conversation he had with their mother last week. “She said something about how I should be embarrassed that [wife] Tonya makes more money than I do. But at our wedding ten years ago, she also said she was proud of Tonya for being a lawyer. It makes me wonder just what in the hell has been going down at the Cummings’ house recently.” At the end of their conversation, both Kyle and Carrie made plans to try to avoid the elder Cummings as much as possible without getting written out of the will. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-27504742829105298762020-01-13T13:49:00.000-08:002020-01-27T15:31:40.824-08:00Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcVY4JA-3kmIHJtoK3jFnwyEU00auQgb5BaejEdpmhuF0Ef7Ku6HYzI8hq4lwTdQCQy2z-F4VZaGi_UVen4bf_Ql_qB5PHnhnghO_6gj8lVOug4xjYEbrylRz3smOHQwjw6Vq3fuzS26dF/s1600/police-dui-checkpoint-PTYWNUM.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="214" data-original-width="321" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcVY4JA-3kmIHJtoK3jFnwyEU00auQgb5BaejEdpmhuF0Ef7Ku6HYzI8hq4lwTdQCQy2z-F4VZaGi_UVen4bf_Ql_qB5PHnhnghO_6gj8lVOug4xjYEbrylRz3smOHQwjw6Vq3fuzS26dF/s320/police-dui-checkpoint-PTYWNUM.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />She’s three blocks from her house when the blue and red lights begin illuminating the car’s interior. She peers at the rear view mirror in horror as the police officer signals her to pull over.<br /><br />Not now, she thinks to herself. Not tonight.<br /><br />Under normal circumstances she wouldn’t mind being interrogated by enforcers of the law, but she had consumed four vodka tonics throughout the evening, and she’s pretty sure she’s at or just over the legal blood-alcohol limit. She reaches for the gum and hopes for the best.<br /><br />The cop seemingly appears out of nowhere and forcefully knocks on her window. She’s startled at first, but then she calmly rolls it down and attempts her best Eddie Haskell impersonation.<br /><br />“Is there a problem, officer?” she asks, faking a warm smile.<br /><br />“Yes,” he says, unamused. “Ma’am, do you know why I pulled you over?”<br /><br />“I’m assuming the author of this story needs a premise and he can’t really think of a good one,” she says.<br /><br />“Yeah,” he agrees as he sighs and relaxes his demeanor. “That’s gotta be it. You weren’t even swerving. I never would have pulled you over if I wasn’t in this story.”<br /><br />“I haven’t seen a writer attempt something so trite in a long time,” she says with a laugh.<br />The cop nods. “That’s why I’m an officer of the law and not a writer,” he says. “At least by being a cop, I’m taking bad guys off the street and making the world a safer place. What does a writer even do?”<br /><br />“I don’t know — other than sitting around and staring at a computer all day. That’s no way to live. Besides, you’d have to be pretty full of yourself to think that you can write any better than the millions of struggling writers already out there. The fiction market is totally saturated.”<br /><br />The woman character (who I don’t even bother to name or identify in any real way) and the police officer shake their heads, clearly out of pity for all the losers sitting in their houses right now, writing their lives away. Sometimes fictional characters can be real jerks.<br /></span><br />
The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-75963883549242714752020-01-06T13:45:00.001-08:002020-01-06T13:45:13.489-08:00A Comprehensive Theory On Why Everything Sucks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ND1unXVsd9Q0axOiw6_vluYHQYqj6X75JBH2ydS5M6pQi_5JTALoGBGkFjlTDWix2ummUXVh1Lba2LW_Z4WNEPeU5EIlymLTo6qd90FQ3cAVsBlmJ6Q_ifz28kTUPeJGKCZbk0kAThqN/s1600/comic_sucks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ND1unXVsd9Q0axOiw6_vluYHQYqj6X75JBH2ydS5M6pQi_5JTALoGBGkFjlTDWix2ummUXVh1Lba2LW_Z4WNEPeU5EIlymLTo6qd90FQ3cAVsBlmJ6Q_ifz28kTUPeJGKCZbk0kAThqN/s640/comic_sucks.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
<br />The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-74403830901222274982019-12-30T09:24:00.002-08:002019-12-30T09:33:39.346-08:00Snowboarders' Concussions May Lead To Difficulties Doing Gnarly Ass Shit Later In Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEB1mzAEOcXShJlYKhhl9rmAB1qoN8Cup3G6IhulOS5Y8iQq73_uX3b7PkqNhxaHxIdEp9yatRL03-sJ8_f3XCdshqF5b2KN5Mgfwkm_SsARMo1Smq_zJ_EglaoPJ06ZkpqjsRYbALPdTp/s1600/Snowboard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEB1mzAEOcXShJlYKhhl9rmAB1qoN8Cup3G6IhulOS5Y8iQq73_uX3b7PkqNhxaHxIdEp9yatRL03-sJ8_f3XCdshqF5b2KN5Mgfwkm_SsARMo1Smq_zJ_EglaoPJ06ZkpqjsRYbALPdTp/s320/Snowboard.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<a name='more'></a>VALHALLA, NY — In a case study of 235 former professional snowboarders, researchers found strong evidence linking concussions to extreme difficulties doing gnarly ass shit later in life, according to the study’s author and Professor of Neurology at New York Medical College James Sanderson. “We’ve found that repetitive head trauma experienced by these extreme athletes during their careers caused once totally sick-as-fuck shedders to become dull-ass brain-deads who can barely make the the sign of the horns with their pointer and pinkie fingers—much less cruise the pow with steeze like they did in their youth,” said Sanderson. “Many of these boarders made a 20-year lifestyle out of doing sick as hell tricks in one form or another. And although they all knew they’d be uncool in their 40s, they didn’t know how tragically uncool they would actually end up.” Added Sanderson: “For example, if you led some of these aged bros to the badest-ass kicker in all Tahoe, it wouldn’t even occur to them that they could be rodeo flipping to the fucking moon. Rather, they would just stare at the jump with vacant eyes in a most ungnarly fashion. It’s patheticville, really.” The professor then went on to stress the importance for people under the age of 20 using protective headgear in order to safeguard their gnar-potential for years to come. <span id="docs-internal-guid-83078ead-7fff-70e2-505e-49697fa0e96d"></span><br />
<br />The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-41640296771474764432019-12-28T14:17:00.000-08:002019-12-28T15:06:39.261-08:00Broncos Attribute Lack Of Success To Single Denver-area Fan<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjehWooW7wn-u3s1NPx5AAlyY1E1YO3srNMw4UZRV6B0coS0bUpZ50gHU0bLxzN-jCtACIgToNYldaQBZbe50Da1XremXUW-D5wKiE6CgvW2IoiDnPkj-NsCdrfDXhGyrbBW1dYyuI1FVa2/s1600/sad-man-with-beer-bottle-at-bar-B4YPF7R.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="864" data-original-width="1296" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjehWooW7wn-u3s1NPx5AAlyY1E1YO3srNMw4UZRV6B0coS0bUpZ50gHU0bLxzN-jCtACIgToNYldaQBZbe50Da1XremXUW-D5wKiE6CgvW2IoiDnPkj-NsCdrfDXhGyrbBW1dYyuI1FVa2/s400/sad-man-with-beer-bottle-at-bar-B4YPF7R.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a name='more'></a><span id="docs-internal-guid-a319ea1a-7fff-0685-4606-30677af2dc21"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ENGLEWOOD, CO — The Denver Broncos placed the blame of their lackluster season on unenthusiastic supporter of the team and recently divorced former elevator repairman, Stan Bryant, the Broncos head coach Vic Fangio said at a press conference Sunday. “Look, Stan just isn’t cheering as hard as he used to,” Fangio claimed when asked to defend his team’s 6-9 record. “Back in 2015 when he was still making good money, married, and before he started listening to Jimmy Buffett, Stan would don his Peyton Manning jersey, drink a 12 pack of Coors Light, and yell at our players on his TV screen — and we went to the Super Bowl that year. But now, I mean look at him. He couldn’t successfully cheer a youth league team to victory.” Bryant, who admittedly has not been himself since losing his job and his faith that anything good will ever happen to him, promised to do his best to cheer harder, or at least, not to cry during future Bronco games.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-15240780755506109712019-12-28T11:53:00.002-08:002020-01-06T13:37:37.844-08:00Increasingly Angry Dad Can’t Get Slinky To Go All The Way Down The Goddamn Stairs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-sRf7gM8g55qdUHBH86M2NGIp5wX3HoDsdLp3sQcp6iQJtc3CerFD2CBbEvz0i_6K5YlvFU-cW161cmd9j-KGPCPbkwtkOnG9tccooJ3fiSVGz78lmvFTQRDrlR7374wlVm9fUFcx7q_Z/s1600/IMG_2614.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-sRf7gM8g55qdUHBH86M2NGIp5wX3HoDsdLp3sQcp6iQJtc3CerFD2CBbEvz0i_6K5YlvFU-cW161cmd9j-KGPCPbkwtkOnG9tccooJ3fiSVGz78lmvFTQRDrlR7374wlVm9fUFcx7q_Z/s320/IMG_2614.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<a name='more'></a><span id="docs-internal-guid-18834a0f-7fff-59cd-fa35-5eeb29af99d8"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">TAOS, NM — Despite his repeated attempts, Jerry Taylor could not get a Slinky to go all the way down the stairs Tuesday night, refusing to let either of his children have a turn until he did. “Get out of the way,” Taylor told his sons. “This time it’s going all the way down.” The Slinky was originally intended as a present for his youngest son Tom, but Taylor yanked it from the child’s hand as soon as the package was opened and rushed to the second story of their home so he could set it in motion. “Dad was really excited about the toy,” said Tom. “But he couldn’t get it to go down more than three stairs, and then he got really mad and started to yell.” Added Tom: “He even called mom a bad word.” After several unsuccessful attempts, his son asked if he could try, but the elder Taylor picked up the Slinky, clutched it to his chest, and shouted, “No, not until the god damn Slinky gets all the way to the last god damn step!” At press time everyone in the Taylor family was crying and wondering how a simple toy could sow such terrible discord. </span></span>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-39989221282534768922019-12-28T11:50:00.003-08:002019-12-28T11:51:05.633-08:00Dear Sir Rake<span id="docs-internal-guid-147eee14-7fff-3c2f-de6a-e02f681d661c"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Relationship Advice From Sir Rutherford Rake</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">“My wife and I have radically different post-apocalypse plans.”</span></div>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-759a59bf-7fff-453f-90b5-5eff393bb436"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dear Sir Rake, my wife of three years, “Opal,” won’t stop talking about her plans after the apocalypse. She wants to join one of the bands of survivors that battle the zombies and engage in low-scale wars against other humans for scarce resources. That all sounds like a load of shit to me. I just want to throw a fucking rager of a party with tons of sex and drugs and booze. And if all that doesn’t kill us, I’ll find some heroin and shoot it until I stop breathing. I’m not going to be out there just barely clinging to life like some miserable fuck. What kind of way is that to live? Anyway, Opal and I can’t stop arguing about it. What should I do?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">—I Shan’t Hang Out For Any Post-apocalypse</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ISHOFAP, as a couple, you’re assuming that you will both survive the nuclear war, asteroid, ecological collapse, super volcano, or other malady that will cause the apocalypse in the first place. You probably won’t. But for the sake of argument, let’s say that you somehow find yourselves living on an earth that’s scarcely suitable for human existence. I’m sure that whatever judicial system survives the disaster will still recognize divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences, and after signing some papers, you can both follow your dreams on your own. Until then, you might want to start stockpiling drugs and Opal might want to start learning how to blast the heads off of zombies. Then when the shit goes down and you’ve said your tearful goodbyes, you’ll both be ready to face your respective fates. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I have a crush on the man my wife is cheating on me with.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dear Sir Rake, last week I checked an email account that I share with my wife. It had been months since I logged on to that specific account, since no one ever really contacts me there. But I was bored and so I looked up the login information and signed in. Well, I was soon reading a thread of emails that described in detail a lurid affair that my wife appears to be having with another man, who we’ll call “Edmund.” I googled this Edmund and I can totally see why my wife is banging him. He’s super attractive, plays guitar in a post-punk band, and he owns three successful pot shops here in town. And of course, he’s pretty damn easy on the eyes, if you know what I mean! (He’s extremely fuckable, in case you don’t know what I mean.) Anyway, I would totally like to meet this Edmund, get a drink, and see where the evening takes us. But I was wondering how I’m supposed to tell my wife that I totally want to get into the pants of the man she’s cheating on me with. Do I invite myself on one of their dates? Do I send him an email? A dick pic? I’m at a loss here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">—Wife’s Inamorato is Lusty and Delightful</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">WILD, the way I see it, there are two courses of action you can take: (1) The next time your wife gives you an obviously transparent excuse to be away from the house for as long as it takes to engage in sexual intercourse (e.g. “bowling with the gals,” “crocheting with the gals,” or “going down to F-town with the gals”), make it known that you would like to go as well. Tell her how much you enjoy bowling, crocheting, and F-town and see how she responds. If she says, “Well, I’m not really going [bowling, crocheting, to F-town]. I’m actually going to get it on with this guy ‘Edmund.’” Then you can say, “I think I’d like to tag along, if you don’t mind.” And then you’re pretty much in. Or, (2) You can be a bit more proactive and do that thing where you send your wife a dic pic and “accidentally” copy Edmund (now that you have his email address). Then when you quickly send a follow-up email apologizing for such careless dissemination of explicit photographs, you can include this postscript: “That aside, what do you all think?” If they both respond positively, then WILD, you have your opening, so to speak. Good luck!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“My friend who’s terrible at trivia won’t take the hint that we want him off the team”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dear Sir Rake, I have this friend who we’ll refer to as “Huey” that I’ve known for over a decade. About six months ago, Huey had the bright idea to start a trivia team with me and two of our other friends. And with one exception, our team kicks some ass. That one exception of course is Huey. The man has not had a single correct answer in all the months that we’ve been attending trivia, and we go every Wednesday night. We’ve finished second place a handful of times and I know we could be in first if we get someone that knows more about history (the one subject we all struggle with). Huey doesn’t know shit about anything. How do I tell him that he’s the weakest link without hurting his feelings? Or should we just hurt his feelings? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">—Trivia Under Threat</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">TUT, did you know that I love trivia and play with my own team every Thursday night? Did you know that I have a history degree from the Metropolitan State University Of Denver? And finally, did you know that I am looking for a team to play trivia with on Wednesday nights? Please use the contact information in the front of this zine and get in touch. As for your friend “Huey,” let me make it easy for you. Write his real name in the blank space provided below and have him read this article. That way, he’ll know he’s shit out of luck trivia-wise, and then you can invite me to join the team. Sound good? Here you go:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">__________________, thank you for starting our trivia team. Unfortunately, you are really, truly terrible at trivia. As such, we’re kicking you off the team. You have already demonstrated your initiative at putting together trivia teams, so we have no doubt that you will start another one. For that reason, we do not feel bad about this decision. We hope that the team you are about to start doesn’t wise up like we did and subsequently shitcan you in a callous and unceremonious fashion. But we hope you understand that we have no control over your future shitcannings now that we’ve severed our connections with you. And now that you are gone from our lives, we plan on winning big with Sir Rutherford Rake of the wildly successful Dear Sir Rake column that is read and admired by thousands of adoring fans all across the globe. Anyway, hopefully we will meet again under less disquieting circumstances. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Love always,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Your Former Trivia Team </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">General Advice from Sir Rutherford Rake to the Non-letter Writers</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As a health-conscious boozer, you probably switched from screwdrivers to vodka-spiked Kombucha a long time ago. Well, I’m here to tell you that you need to upgrade once again to vodka and CBD sodas. (You got to stay relevant, you know?)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Apparently your younger friends who got into punk by listening to Blink 182 do not want your pity. (Who knew?)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you’ve ever said, “There Aren’t Enough Hours In The Day,” and spend 87% of your free time watching Netflix, then I’m willing to bet that your total lack of awareness affects more than just your sense of irony.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When you come across a baby that’s objectively disappointing, do not mention this fact to the parents. (You’ve been warned.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you can’t figure out if you’re too stoned to drive, then you’re probably too stoned to realize you’re too stoned to drive, which means you’re definitely too stoned to drive. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When you find out that a casual acquaintance on Facebook is conservative, the best thing to do in this situation is to quietly unfriend them — unless you have a lot of time and energy to expend trying to convince them that they’re wrong. If the latter is the case, you’ll end up frustrated, your faith in humanity will suffer, and you’ll unfriend them anyway. So take my advice and just nip this one in the bud.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you fall down in front of a group of people, you should ask yourself if you’d rather be pitied or hated. If it’s the former, just lie there, looking pathetic. If it’s the latter, say, “I’m just trying to get in on the ground floor over here. Ha!” You will be hated shortly thereafter. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A lot of people over the age of 30 just assume that it’s too late to start doing drugs. That’s kind of a shitty attitude. Remember people, always stay positive and remind yourself that it’s never too late to start doing drugs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-31707107531626334462019-12-28T11:30:00.002-08:002020-01-29T17:49:21.941-08:00The Earworm Artist<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Here’s the thing about ‘80s hits,” she opines. “They’re effective on the older people you work with, but if you have any millennials at your workplace, they’ll just stare at you blankly.”<br /><br />Carol harbors a lot of effective means to get really crappy songs stuck in the heads of her coworkers. I find it fascinating, because I generally only engage in this activity by happenstance. But she’s very conscious of her efforts, and I can see why. She approaches the placement of the earworm the way a painter approaches the canvass — with precision, confidence, and care. And she applies the brush-strokes of her craft with skill. She’s trying her best to impart some of this knowledge on me, and I’m trying my best to absorb the information. <br /><br />“That’s a shame,” I say, “because I know a lot of really catchy songs from the ‘80s.”<br /><br />“I feel your pain,” she says. “But only disseminating ‘80s songs can get you in a bind. You may think Starship’s ‘We Built this City’ is a sure thing, and it does work on the older folks. But that song has two things going against it: One, it’s notorious as an earworm so it’s pretty well-worn territory, and you don’t want to be cliche in this racket. And two, no one under 30 is really familiar with it.” I nod as she continues. “A good song from the ‘80s is Gloria Estefan’s ‘Conga.’ Everyone gets a kick out of that one — even the younger ones who probably aren’t familiar with it. They love hearing the lyrics and the phrasing of the vocals all the same.”<br /><br />“I can see that,” I say. “Da na na na na na baby, do that conga. How’s that go?”<br /><br />She sings it and I make a mental note to introduce all my coworkers to this particular earworm on Monday. Professionally speaking, I finally have something to look forward to. </span><div>
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The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-79399521470973657472019-12-28T11:10:00.001-08:002019-12-28T15:06:06.771-08:00Depressed Roommate Hasn’t Fucked In Awhile<br />
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-f52a5b4e-7fff-d6a9-b8b5-584a90a07493"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">DENVER — Citing seasonal depression and lack of sex noises emanating from her room, Sandra Hooper revealed that her roommate Claire Rutherford hasn’t fucked in quite some time. “Usually she’s real loud at fucking,” said Hooper. “There’s always moaning and slapping noises. But for at least a few weeks, it’s like radio silence.” Hooper said since it’s been at least a month since she heard Rutherford’s fucking, she figured it probably had something to do with her roommate’s Seasonal Affective Disorder, which usually culminates during the month of December. “Claire stopped fucking around this time last year as well,” she said. “Back when I first noticed it, I thought that maybe she broke up with one of her boyfriends or quit Tinder or something. But then spring came and I started hearing fucking again, so I’m not overly concerned.” Rutherford then reached for her phone to open her Tinder app, since she realized it had been awhile since she tended to her own fucking needs. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-10988253099223888102019-12-27T13:09:00.002-08:002019-12-28T19:47:52.953-08:00Life's A Party - Bars And Aging<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-27774692159564328602019-12-27T09:00:00.002-08:002019-12-28T13:33:38.197-08:00Originator Of All Of Life's Problems Staring Back In Mirror, Man Suddenly Realizes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-a2a31e78-7fff-47f8-ed23-7d5050c87b2f"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">BATHROOM — The common denominator of every single one of Oliver Russell's problems stared back at him forlornly in the mirror yesterday morning, the man suddenly realized. “Oh shit, I’m fucking everything up, aren’t I?” Russell asked his reflection. “This isn’t how my life is supposed to be going at all.” The troubled man had merely been brushing his teeth like any other morning when seemingly out of nowhere the crushing weight of horrible awareness landed squarely on his shoulders, contorting his face into an unmistakable expression of despair and self-pity. “But it is me,” he said in this moment of clarity. “It’s been me the whole time. I’m the reason my life is so shitty.” Russell then finished brushing his teeth, called in sick for work, and sat motionless on the couch until the sun went down — at which point he sat in total darkness and wondered what the fuck he was supposed to do now. </span></span></div>
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<br />The Yellow Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03205250831195693189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971946094611774090.post-63680875699720994822019-12-24T11:11:00.001-08:002019-12-24T11:27:39.000-08:00This Shit’s Almost Over, Nation’s Scrooges Report<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-size: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">NATION — With mere hours until the Christmas holiday concludes, the nation’s scrooges reported that this shit was excitingly close to being over. “Oh thank god this is nonsense is ending,” said Carl Worthington, a 48 year old casino manager who has worked every Christmas for the last 15 years. “If I hear one more goddamn Christmas carol, I’m going to punch one of these santa hat-wearing mother fuckers in the face.” Lilah Wilkes, a yoga instructor who moved from Vicksburg, Mississippi to Denver when she was 18 and did not have any plans to go home for the holidays agreed. “I’m not nostalgic, sentimental, or ceremonial,” she said. “But even though I have no real reason to celebrate, I suppose I will do something fun that has nothing to do with Pagan rituals or Christian traditions.” When asked to expound on her plans, she thought silently for a few moments and then said, “Oh, I don’t know. Probably just get day drunk and listen to Heart records.” As the clock ticked closer and closer to the 26th, the scrooges’ excitement grew palpable — some even cracking smiles on their normally expressionless faces. “Our enthusiasm and relief towards the end of Christmas is as festive as any of us are comfortable of getting,” claimed Worthington. “It’s what I look forward to every year.” </span><br />
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